Werewolves are Black Spots
by WerewolfGirl
Summary: Dipping into the rambling mind of Remus Lupin. RL-LP.


**NOTES: **I don't own the character Remus Lupin or Lily Rvans they belong to MS JK Rowling Don't contact me saying I spelt "colour" or something with a u in. I'm British I use British spellings. Had this brainwave whilst I was in the library at college so done a small fluffy fic dipping into the mind of Remus RL/LE, R&R =P  
  
Werewolves are black spots.

By WerewolfGirl

* * *

It was late in the Gryffindor common room, from my chair in the corner where I was huddled I could survey the whole room. The fire was crackling loudly still in full blaze warming the entire room but tonight not many others where around to bath in it's heat or orange-glow. The time was only half past ten on a Monday night and the very uncommon sight it is, to see the room almost devoid of students. Everyone was but till very late last night, finishing off homework they hadn't finished on the weekend so gave themselves all early nights apart from the prefects on late watch and a few remaining students. I don't mind doing a late watch it would be pointless for me to go to bed now as I would only lie there awake staring stupidly up at the canopy listening to Peter snore. The full moon was drawing nearer; I don't need a lunar chart to tell me that I can feel it. This other presence inside of me is awaking once more. At night it's stronger I can feel it rushing around my bloodstream the paranoid feeling of knowing it's there inside waiting, like a predator ready to spring and take over.  
  
I shifted myself within the red armchair, tucking my socked feet alittle better placed under myself propping the book I was reading on my knees, I looked up to gaze around the common room once more. Two boys climbed the staircase on the other side of the room, one was laughing loudly at some joke the other had made. Two down just a few more students left around the room I guess when they go up I'll head to my own dorm and see if I can sleep.  
A door creaked above me and there was a gentle clicking of heeled shoes coming down the spiralling staircase, which lead to the girl's dormitories. A girl with dark red hair that fell about her shoulders walked into the circular room heading straight to a table where two first year girl's where sitting struggling over homework since supper. The girl was Lily Evans the other sixth year Gryffindor prefect beside myself, a clever and very pretty girl and the object of one of my best friend's affections though the feelings where not returned. They welcomed her with smiles allowing Lily to sit with them before at once talking to her in frantic whispers.  
  
As a prefect and being a couple of years above them, maybe I should have offered to help earlier? Though the gang I am apart of had distracted me from doing my duties; Sirius along with James where planning a new attack on Snape with Peter making very enthusiastic nodding and comments. I should have told them to stop; I am here to help the teacher's stamp out bullying, make sure people follow the school rules, be there for other students when they need it and stop troublemakers. So when I hear them plotting a new bullying tackle on Snape what do I do? I do nothing. In all honesty I am too afraid to tell them not to, they are after all my best friends, the greatest friends I've ever had in my life even and I don't want to lose them. I'll only be left to feeling guilty and have Lily giving me a lecher that being one of their best friends to control them and stop before wands are wiped out. In truth I can't tell them off, but I normally just nod sadly and say I'll try to Lily, which I never do. The plus side of these little talks was getting to be with her, as both the Gryffindor prefects for our year we get to work a lot together so I get to know bits about her little by little. Every time I do James questions me, he fancies her so much I swear it's painful.  
  
I could understand the feeling of being in love with someone so much and not having the feelings return, its as though your heart is constantly under pressure it feels like it would explode at any second. The mere sight of your fancy can bump your heart rate up, being near them you can feel your heart pounding and when they speak your heart's blown up inside of you and being in their sheer presence is the only thing that's keeping you alive. That's how I feel whenever I'm near Lily.  
  
I don't dare say anything about these feelings to anyone; it's my other secret I hide from the world. Not even my best friends know this, imagine what would happen if I say anything to them? Be laughed at by Sirius and piss off James that I would bet any amount of money he would hex me a million times over. I have more of a chance than him to get with Lily anyway. But then again what girl would even give me a second glance? All I am to most girls' is, shy Remus Lupin that well behaved pale boy who hangs around with the infamous James Potter and Sirius Black, all the girl's fawn over them anyway and if the fact got out I'm a werewolf that would make my chances even better! No one would touch me with a twenty-foot broomstick; black stamped from everyone apart from the others like myself who ever they are.  
  
I don't mix well with people let alone girls, I get nervous and worried they will leave me as soon as they find out what I am, what I carry inside of me. With girls I'm too scared to have a girlfriend. What if I accidentally bite them or scratch their tongue with one of my teeth? I could this curse I have on, I know it passes on when I'm in a werewolf state I'm unsure when I am human though. Also if I do find someone and end up having a nice enough relationship what about when it becomes serious and she wants something to happen? I'll be embarrassed enough to say I don't know how to do _it_, I mean I know Sirius has done it before but can't really go up to my best mate and say "How do you do shag?" I would sound like a right pervert! No doubt getting a smack in the face from him. I mean as well as me no doubt messing up somewhere along the way there are risks. I'm not just talking about pregnancy – I wish that was indeed my only worry! But again it could be passed on to her, I know any child of a werewolf can. Very unlikely it would be passed on to her but I don't want someone else to suffer from the monthly horror I have to go through, it shouldn't happen to others not to a girl like Lily.  
  
"Remus?" A voice broke my rambling thoughts of worry causing me to jump in my unprepared state eyes locking onto the brilliant green pool's of Lily Evans who was standing very close to my chair. My heartbeat was beginning to beat alittle faster staring into her eyes, I could feel the other inside perk up in the sudden rise of emotion, feeling it's animal eyes watching her and me. "Are you alright?" she said raising an eyebrow towards me recognising she had given me a fright but unsure why she wasn't getting a verbal response. "You can go to bed now everyone's gone."  
  
Sitting in my fixated state I looked around the room indeed there was nobody else in the whole of the common room it was just her, and me together alone! My heart began to beat alittle more heavily now. She could take the seat next to mine and I'll sit here, both of us can talk together into the small hours of the night getting to know each other, without being disturbed then after a long talk realise the time and we lean forward to say good night and... "I'm fine, not feeling tired."  
  
"Oh well I'm going to bed, see you tomorrow." She said back to me with a small smile before turning on her short heels stepping onto the first step of the girl's staircase, with a slight sway in her hips climbing upwards before a soft shutting of the door signalled she had left. I was the only one left now. By myself with my small daydream lingering in my mind, mental giving myself a kick why didn't I try and make her stay for a while. I was just alone as usual, nothing but these curse the other beginning inside me a distant howl in my ears. I bet it was laughing at me. This is what most likely what my life would be like, nothing more than friend if I am lucky. In the beautiful flawless skin of love and society werewolves are black spots. 


End file.
